|
[12 Oct 2006|09:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
It has been quite some time since I've posted anything here. I thought I would start resurrecting this as all I do during the week is sit in the hotel room here in Montreal. I'm on secondment to the mothership until April 2008, so I'll be doing the commute between Toronto and Montreal until thing. Montreal Monday to Friday, Saturday and Sunday in Toronto.
I spent Thanksgiving camping in South Carolina at Hunting Beach State Park. It was such a great time. Once I get the photo's developed I'll post a few here.
|
|
| Good times |
[26 Apr 2005|08:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
Besides suffering from a stupid nasty cold since last Thursday I've had some enjoyable days.
I went to the Anniversay concert for the Waterloo/Wellington Rainbow Chorus. They did an amazing job, especially a 1595 madrigal that was not an easy thing to do. Van sings in the chorus, bass/baritone (bearitone?? hehehe) So I think I'll join in the fall for next season. I miss singing and this will give me a chance to get my voice up and working again.
I'm going away this weekend to Seattle to see Balloonbear. I'm sure lots of balloons will get busted this weekend. ;) It will be good to finally meet Matt. We've been chatting for years and we will finally get to give each other a big old fashioned bearhug and kiss.
|
|
| wonderful weekend |
[20 Apr 2005|08:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
What a wonderful weekend I had. Van came down for a visit on Friday and Saturday. I made a nice pot roast dinner for us on Friday night and then we went down to O'Grady's for bear night.
Saturday was, to say the least, fanf***ingtastic. Toronto has so much to offer. It's just so full of life. Van took me down to Kensington Market. My first touristy trip in my new city. How fun!! and all of the shops. I could have spent so much money. The Global Cheese shop. WOOHOO!!! I love cheese and that place is heaven. Van also took me to his this little chinese pastry shop ("Furama", I think). Shall we just say that one could put on many many pounds eating all of the wonderful little cakes in that shop.
Saturday night we went dancing at the Cellblock. I haven't danced like that in ages and the music was excellent. I couldn't really see in the DJ booth, but the DJ seemed like quite a cute bear.
|
|
| Thoughts |
[13 Apr 2005|08:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
I have had the most wonderful time since I've arrived in Toronto. So many wonderful and nice people. I spent Friday night and part of Saturday with Van in Guelph. It was a special time for me as it's been awhile since I've just lazed in bed and spent some time with another man. (And such a handsome man too). I enjoyed it and it I realized how much a I miss having someone to share my life with. I do love my solitude, but then again, I do miss the companionship of someone close.
Anything can happen. This is a new part of my life. A new city.
One of my aunt's in England died last week. I wasn't that close to my mum's or my dad's family over in England, so I doubt I'll go over for the funeral.
My friend Chris Aucoin from Halifax was in town this week. He was in Ottawa earlier in the week and now here. His ex of 14 years was killed a few weeks ago in a hit and run by a drunk driver. My prayers, thoughts and love go out to Chris at this time. Very strange emotions he's going through. It's his ex of 14 years but there is still love there. Big hugs Chris.
Van is coming over this weekend to my place. He's arriving on Friday night, so I'll do a nice pot roast for us and then we'll head down to O'Grady's for dessert, some drinks and bear night. I'm really looking forward to seeing Van again.
|
|
| Spring is here |
[21 Mar 2005|07:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
Spring is finally here. It didn't seem like it this morning only to come out and have to brush off the car and scrape the windows. When will it ever end?
Although I will miss the cold weather. I love to wear my big downfilled puffy coats when I'm naked. When it's cold out, the apartment is nice and cool so I can wear them and feel nice and warm and snuggly.
|
|
| My new life in Toronto |
[20 Mar 2005|03:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
I cannot believe the number of nice people in this city. I am so thoroughly enjoying it here and I've only been here for 3 weeks. So many nice bears and cubs too! Jeff and Dave; Bill, Danny & Daniel; Van; Jay; Dom; Pat, the list just goes on.
I'm just sitting here, naked, wearing a big puffy coat. (It's like wearing a big bearhug. The soft nylon lining, the warmth of the downfilling. Try it! You may like it.) I'm going to make a salad to take to dinner this evening. It's Van's birthday celebration this evening. His Birthday was yesterday. I'm going to make a Sicilian salad that my bosses mother made. Fennel and Orange. You may think it strange but the two flavours combine strikingly well.
Big balloonbusting bearhugs to everyone out there.
|
|
| Hump day done |
[16 Mar 2005|09:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
Thank God it's Wednesday and "hump day" is overwith. Now it's just the last few days of the week until the weekend. I think I may take Friday off work so that I can run around and get my license plate changed and my driver's license moved from Nova Scotia to Ontario. That will make me official.
I'm looking forward to BBT Bear night at O'Grady's this Friday.
Must get a haircut before then. I'm looking a bit shaggy. I have to look my best for all of the handsome bears and cute cubs here in Toronto.
|
|
| Happy Birthday to me!! |
[14 Mar 2005|07:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
I turn 44 today. I don't feel much different, maybe a bit wiser. I hope I'm a bit wiser! LOL I think I'm aging like a fine bottle of red wine. The longer it's sits the better it becomes.
I had a photoshoot down on Saturday by www.livejournal.com/users/bitterlawngnome and what a great time I had. The new picture here is one that he took. A fantasitic artist and photographer.
|
|
| Now in Toronto |
[13 Mar 2005|07:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chipper |
] |
Well, I've been here a week and so far I'm just loving this city. Such wonderful people. And the bears and cubs are truly amazing. The gay scene here is much better than in Halifax. There is just so much more of it.
I'm getting settled in my new apartment. The pictures are hung and everything is unpacked. It's a nice little basement suite and I'm quite happy with it.
|
|
|
[27 Jan 2004|08:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Please Vote)
What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by Quizilla
|
|
|
[27 Jan 2004|08:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
exhausted |
] |
|
|
| Nightmares |
[21 Jan 2004|07:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
I wrote this in an old journal - August 22, 2000. The thing is, they are still and will never leave my mind. Here is my writings from that time.
Nightmares - They Come
They come
As you fall asleep;
In the middle fo the night;
As you wake up;
They come.
They come
Whether you want them
Or
Whether you don't
They come
They come
In strange shapes
Distorted reality
Picasso shapes
Dali Images
They come
They come
And we toss and turn
Talk in our sleep
Sweat
Wake up
Where are we?
They come
They come
No one can stop them
They haunt our sub-conscience
The lurk in the shadows
Ready to pounce
They come.
They come
In our sleep
No one can hear them
Or see them
Except the sleeper
They come
They come
When we don't expect them
In the night
In the dark
The come
They come
We scream!
No one hears
Except the sleeper
Except the nightmare
We scream!
They come
They come
They always will
What's the cause?
Who knows?
The nightmare knows
What does it mean?
The nightmare knows
They come
They come
They come
|
|
| one of my most favourite poems. |
[19 Jan 2004|05:46pm] |
From:
The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam (Persian Poet AD1123)
And if the Wine you drink, the Lip you press,
End in what All begins and ends in -- Yes;
Think then you are To-day what Yesterday
You were -- To-morrow you shall not be less.
Stop, read, inwardly digest. Some powerful words.
|
|
| Why? |
[19 Jan 2004|05:28pm] |
Why?
What is this thing Love?
It never makes sense,
You fall for someone
And
That person,
Will never love you back.
"I love you as a friend"
Shit!
I love him.
He doen't love me.
He loves someone else.
Sometimes,
I think....
the web breaks more hearts
does more harm
than before it's inception.
I have a broken heart.
No one cares,
No one ever cares.
It's something that we must bear
Alone,
In silence.
Why?
|
|
|
[05 Dec 2003|10:56pm] |
I really do not like this time of year. With no family, mum and dad are both dead, no brothers and sisters, no lover or partner, this time of year sucks. The good friends I do have are either partnered and have their own celebrations and traditions or they live far away. This time of year is a very depressing time and not just for me, I'm sure.
I've said something to my best friend Matt that were not very nice.
Time to head to the doctor and get back on medication. He said that depression was cyclical and that there would be highs and lows. I'm at a low right now. "THOSE" thoughts are in my head and very realistic. There are times when "THOSE" thoughts make perfect and logical sense. I won't act on them of course, but they are so real and intense.
Sorry Matt.
The thing is I love Matt, very much. More than anyone really knows. I wish I could have Matt as my life partner, but I know that will never happen.
Yet another cause of the depression. Knowing that I'll never have something that I truly desire and that's to be in a loving relationship with Matt.
|
|
| mood |
[05 Dec 2003|10:49pm] |
you are darkslateblue
#483D8B |
Your dominant hue is blue, making you a good friend who people love and trust. You're good in social situations and want to fit in. Just be careful not to compromise who you are to make them happy.
Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it.
Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.
| | the spacefem.com html color quiz |
</center
|
|
|
[14 Aug 2003|09:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
"You must remember this, a kiss is still a
kiss". Your romance is Casablanca. A
classic story of love in trying times, chock
full of both cynicism and hope. You obviously
believe in true love, but you're also
constantly aware of practicality and societal
expectations. That's not always fun, but at
least it's realistic. Try not to let the Nazis
get you down too much.
What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla
|
|
| thoughtful mood tonight |
[03 Aug 2003|10:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 thoughtful |
] |
You should be dating a Sagittarius.
22 November - 21 December
Your mate is frank and open, optimistic and honest.
Though the Archer can display bouts of
argumentative, impatient and critical
behaviour, he or she is extremely adventurous
in bed.
What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
brought to you by Quizilla
|
|
| hump day |
[30 Jul 2003|10:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
lonely |
] |
I had dinner with my friend Anthony this eveing. He's going to be going away next weekend. He's doing his graduate studies at Southern Maine University. He's a cellist and is very very good. He composes his own work as well. Very talented man (and damn cute too!!) My best friend Matt in Rochester. I miss him. I've never met him, but I miss him. I wish we lived closer together. I've also got a new friend in Milwaukee. A fine pipesmoking man. Got to love a man with a pipe. All these friends and they all live (or will be living) so far away. I wish Kevin were close by too. He's a handsome cub if there ever was one!
|
|
| monday night |
[28 Jul 2003|08:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
I hate Monday's. Always so much to do.... and where in the hell do all the emails at work come from over the weekend?!?!
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
balunbustingbea's journal